Lately, I’ve emphasized in my vlogs… STOP TRYING TO BE HAPPY! I really feel like the self-help industry has made this massive fuss about this notion of ‘thinking positively’ or ‘trying to be happy’ when in reality… we’re just unhappy.
The truth is, when we’re trying to be happy in states of unhappiness, what we’re really doing is searching for a short-term gain to make us happy again. Like buying yourself those trainers you saw the other day, or this perfume you can’t get out of your mind. By always trying to escape the unhappiness, you never really put in the effort to deal with the emotions you’re currently feeling. Why is this important?
Emotions are an action signal. Like when failing at something. Feels shit right? Exactly. And that’s the emotion you get. Feeling shit. It is important for us to investigate our emotions, not only to build our self-awareness, but also to understand what our emotions are trying to tell us. Remember that we can only learn our lesson by truly embracing our emotions. This is where true happiness comes from. It’s about realizing that every emotion, no matter how bad it feels, will make you grow and will make you a more mature person at the end of the day.
Imagine every emotion you have as your parents. You may not always like what they tell you, but at the end of the day it’ll do you good.
Stop Comparing Yourself To Others
You know what I think is funny? How our society effectively conditions us to always perform our best. Hold on! It’s not only that! The bad news is, that society conditions us to be better than the person to the left or right of us. At an early age, when kids our put into the education system, we effectively learn to always compare ourselves to our peers.
You remember that time you got your report card and you all shared your grades amongst each other? (well, if they were shit, maybe not so much). Yes, that’s exactly how things work. The moment you begin to compare your performance to others, you’re setting your brain up for going into states of unhappiness immediately. How can I say that? It’s simple, we hate it when others are better than us! Especially when these are close peers we have some sort of emotional bond with. I’m not saying that everyone is this way, but I do believe that feelings of ‘not being good enough’ can begin to form because of this.
So what can you do about it? Let me tell you something that profoundly changed the thinking of my life…
My friends, the ONLY person you should ALWAYS compare yourself to, is the person you were yesterday. It really doesn’t matter on how good your dumb classmates are or were… if you improve a little bit every single day, at one point your improvement will have accumulated so much that you will have overtaken most other people. Please, remind yourself of this every time you catch yourself comparing your ability to that of another person.
Would you rather do long-term marathon running or a bunch of bullshit sprints? I’d go for the marathon!
Take-home message. By embracing all our emotions we learn that happiness is about appreciating all emotions we experience. Let us know what you think of our article! 🙂