Our ego is a pretty fascinating thing. It defines our identity and is a reflection of who we are. Throw your personality, talents, and abilities into one bucket and et voila, there you have your ego.
Now, this may not sound particularly new to you and I’m sure most of us have all come across this term once or twice before. The reason I would like to talk about it is, that I keep observing people’s ego’s being fucked up and completely crippling their identity.
And it’s freakin’ me out!!
For the most part, our ego is the result of our childhood experiences. Whether these experiences came about through our parents, siblings or friends, the ego is a direct reflection of all the misery (and good things as well) that were thrown at us when we were little.
Like parents moaning about a shit grade, Bob just got in his math test and therefore telling him he is a bad maths student. Or being made fun of because your lousy classmates found your spots ugly.
The point is that our own sense of self and identity during our childhood is highly fragile and only solidifies with growing up and maturing. The guiding messages and affirmations we receive from our environment whilst developing, drastically influence on how our identity is shaped later on in life.
These thoughts are dictated by solidified belief patterns of how we believe the world works, how others work, and, well… how we work ourselves.
The problem is that a good handful of people have been exposed to various experiences that have shaped their ego to be complete narcissistic, entitled, lazy dumbfucks.
Click here, to read more.
So overall, I think it’s time to focus on how we can manage our ego, not because your personality may be completely screwed, but simply because I believe it doesn’t do us any harm if we all get a kick in the ass every little while.
#1 Eat Your Veggies
For many people, their ego is dominated by a sense of entitlement they believe they have or by a belief that they are smarter than most other people. An illusionary superiority.
The best thing to do here, is to eat your vegetables.
Let me explain.
Eating your veggies means accepting the blunt, honest, and mundane truths about your life. Truths like ‘That you’re actually not much smarter or better than most others’ and ‘That you’re not entitled to anything in life’ and ‘That nobody, really, gives a fuck about your feelings’.
Yes, admitting these uncomfortable truths to ourselves is UNCOMFORTABLE and they don’t taste good!
(just like vegetables).
But once digested, they will pull you down to earth, free you from entitlement, comfortable ‘feel good’ stories, and make you feel more alive overall. You will stop feeling the constant, and daily anxiety, depression and stress whispering in your ear that ‘you’re not good enough’. Because that’s basically the insecurity that makes most people push their ego to those unbearable levels in the first place.
#2 Practice Mindfulness and Self-awareness
If you’re a frequent reader of my articles, you will know that I write about these two techniques in many of my posts.
So before I repeat myself for the 1000th time, please do me a favor and click this, scroll to page 33 and read my article all on self-awareness.
#3 Be Careful with Affirmations
Affirmations are a pretty hot thing to talk about in the self-help and personal development industry. That doesn’t necessarily mean that all the talk behind them is actually useful…
You see, it doesn’t really make any difference no matter how often you ram it down your throat if you tell yourself a story that simply isn’t true and makes you think you’re delusional anyway.
Like telling yourself that you have a lot of self-confidence when in reality, you never did a single goddamn thing that could actually improve your self-confidence.
Now that doesn’t automatically mean all affirmations are useless.
Affirmations shouldn’t be used as a primary method of turning something in your life around. They may be a decent support material, but applying them alone and hoping they will do some magic, won’t get you anywhere. Promise.
Instead, try to use them next to your daily meditation or journaling. Try to build affirmations that you already believe to be true about yourself. Affirmations are great for reinforcing and strengthening a belief about yourself you already halfway believe to be true.
#4 Look for Leverage
I’m gonna be honest with you…
When I feel like my ego is getting over me and making me feel like I got the biggest balls, I go up to my mum, tell her about my sense of entitlement I feel or whatever it is and BANG, there I have a 5 minute speech being yelled straight at my face about how much of a little prick I am.
Most people would raise an eyebrow and say ‘Hey! Moms are not meant to do that!’
The reality is, is that being pushed back into an attitude where I walk around with a sense of anti-entitlement, thinking that I’m, in fact, not great at all, and rather just a mediocre young naive college kid is exactly what gets me going.
It is this real-talk that brings my feet to the ground and actually motivates me like nothing else. Having the mindset that I’m mediocre and that I could be so much better, to me, is power!
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